Gender

There are many elements every person have in common compared to the differences in gender.

Gender is a biological construct, and is as unchangeable as race. From birth, we come out as males and females, with a very small statistically anomalous group that ends up fitting into both at once or neither.

Even people who don’t identify with their birth gender require rejecting or adapting the reality of their birth to get to the point of non-identification.

Contrasts

Like everything else we perceive, we tend to observe gender differences as complete demarcations. However, only a few key facts differentiate the genders:

  • Women express far more emotion than men (though they have mostly the same emotions), and it comes from understanding and sensing more.
  • Men don’t value friendships the same way as women because they connect fewer feelings and more purposes to their relationships.
  • Women don’t persevere with decisions as much as men because their nature is to revisit them for verification.

The differences arise from birth, specifically in whether the wiring for reproduction is built into us. Females have an innate sense of purpose built into their bodies, while males don’t. In early childhood, this will demonstrate with girls making everything a type of “baby”, with boys testing their physical capacity to its farthest range.

Those facts create a framing of understanding that build the logic into dramatically different results:

  • Men tend to approach life as a set of challenges, while women orient toward maintaining safety.
  • Men are generally better at managing time whereas women at managing space.
  • Women are usually more sensible, while men are typically more rational.
  • Men are more focused, women are more aware.
  • Males are capable of casual and disengaged sex, but females experience sex as a more interconnected portion of the rest of their life.

Those differences in understanding make the power dynamics different:

And, finally, this means males and females possess many inherent differences between each other when implemented into their environment:

  • Women automatically find meaning in reproducing/maintaining young people, but men must hunt for meaning.
  • Men are generally physically larger than women.
  • Men tend to have simpler thoughts than women.
  • Men have more upper-body strength while women have more lower-body strength.
  • Men tend to not reconsider a thought after it was decided without new information or a purpose, but women frequently revisit previously established concepts without much justification.
  • Men tend to preoccupy themselves with results and accomplishment, while women tend to preoccupy themselves with decisions, aesthetics, and relationships.
  • Men will understand things as loosely connected modules, while women understand things as elaborate connections and stories across many components.

The added confidence of men creates a far broader statistical range than women, who usually value interdependence and social integration more. While the average of both genders is about the same, every aspect of men, from strength to intelligence to achievement, is far more extreme on both sides of the bell curve (e.g., the dumbest and smartest people in the world are men).

Further, men and women have neurological and biological distinctions:

  • Men are more likely to have schizophrenia, and women more likely to have clinical depression.
  • Men show more antisocial behavior, and females have more anxiety.
  • Most substance abusers are male, and most anorexics are female.
  • In experiences with strong animal experiences (e.g., porn, horror films), men remember the broad concepts of the thing while women remember many specific details.

Sex

Popular culture gives a disproportionate amount of attention to sex, given that normal marital intercourse is about 5-30 minutes, usually once every few days.

However, many people heavily identify with that portion of being human. Males, especially, will emphasize their penis, to the point that phallic symbols are all over daily life. Some people, especially among the LGBT+ community, revolve their entire lifestyle around elements of sexual intercourse and imagine everyone else does as well.

Development

Sexual development comes in waves of identification, with each one adding onto the previous.

First, the distinction begins with biological sex. This happens very early on in childhood, and people will identify as their biological given sex barring sexual abuse or past trauma. Occasionally, people will identify as the opposite or as neither.

Next, sometime during adolescence, people identify with their gender. This distinction pulls from natural animal urges, but it also connects with our friendships with others and has heavy influence from our family of origin.

As we get older, we localize and adapt our sexual desires to specific groups of people, up until we’ve decided on marriage, which is when two people have matching interests in the other. At that point, we’ve set ourselves upon that one standard for (hopefully) the rest of our lives, proportional to the quality of the aggregate relationship. That standard will be like our opposite-gender parent unless that parent has given us traumatic experiences. In a traumatic situation, people will often prefer the opposite race, body type, ideals, or gender.

Finally, we transition outward to the biological design of sex: procreation and family.

Cultures that believe in premarital sex tend to jump-start sexual identity. From there, sex becomes an intimate expression of the ultimate form of human friendship, and is typically far more complicated from its rearranging of roles. Sexual identity can become even further complicated when aspects like abortion and homosexuality exist, since they deviate from the animal base that sustains life and reproduction.

The cultural obsession with sex is completely natural. It’s similar to our interest in food or making a home. It can link to our desire for a family but doesn’t have to, especially when we’ve experienced past family trauma.

Our gender identity, like all the rest of our identity, is fluctuating all the time. It adapts based on our relationship status, our belief about how we should appear, and our physical ability to perform sexually. Some people don’t ever find sexual attraction in others. Most people have non-relationally faithful heterosexual and homosexual thoughts, though they usually don’t act on them, and it’s often taboo to openly discuss.

Civilization

Modern society doesn’t seem to change gender roles much.

Even in a completely free society, males have more roles with heavy lifting and physical labor (e.g., construction) and females have more roles involving nurturing or supporting (e.g., nursing, administrative). Males will often create a rough-shod form, while females frequently refine the form and give it quality.

With very few social exceptions, society views men and women through conventional roles:

This also expresses into how we respond to a gender-leaning name. People tend to see female-named things as safer and more affectionate than male-named things. Ironically, females are often more dangerous when they’re empowered in a gender-equal society because they have an harder time curbing their feelings.

Biology dictates itself to the degree we identify with the comparison, and there are nurturing males and commanding females. Barring physical limits, how we express and create is determined by many factors irrespective of gender, mostly from attitude and habits. Some aspects of living (e.g., martial arts) are inherently “male”, while others (e.g., technology) are inherently “female”.

In ancient societies, nobody had the luxury to explore these identities because of the public shame they’d incur, largely from the fear that came from survival necessities (e.g., if a man doesn’t hunt and a woman doesn’t cook, they both die).

Mating

The nature of personality makes us naturally lopsided with the need for others to balance us out. We also happen to have animal sexual desires as well. These two needs combine together and drive us to find a mate.

These two attributes together can be risky. We can often find a bad match because that person happens to contain many things that the exact opposite of what we are, even when certain habits will lead to disastrous results later. One of the most common mismatched pairings comes through how there’s always one person who is generally antisocial and the other is generally over-intimate.

In societies where the culture doesn’t outright condemn the practice, men have a tendency to abuse their power and collect wives as a very expensive materialist hobby. Over time, this has a tendency to concentrate the genetics under a smaller population, thereby weakening the people group across generations through families being more related.

In modern societies, we still tend to lean into seeking competence in males and beauty in females, even among homosexuals. Even handsome men are often implied to be competent and productive women are implied to be beautiful.

While men may seek a useless, beautiful woman, women require men to bring some form of competence to their lives that they don’t have already. Otherwise, women become bored or irritated with a man very quickly.

When we select a mate, we tend to match based on what we believe exists that’s available to us, which makes a “ceiling” of what we pursue (i.e., people who are attractive enough that we like them, but not enough that they’d quickly select someone better than us). While we don’t turn down a stunningly attractive person’s interest in us, we won’t see actively pursuing it to be worth our effort unless we have a very strong ego.

Making a marriage is a type of agreement. Irrespective of love for each other, it’s a promise to maintain and support each other for the rest of their lives. This becomes very complicated when each partner finds past issues that were never properly dealt with and carried into the present (e.g., a prior marriage).

Men tend to be more physically attracted to women than the other way around. For this reason, men tend to aim for younger women by a margin of 3-10 years. The stronger risk-taking tendencies in men also means they tend to live 3-4 years less than women.

Controversy

Gender differences create a conflict, mostly from women who don’t like the discrepant power dynamics built into genders. Most men aren’t naturally willing to diminish their power without cultural training, and most women can’t compete on a completely level playing field with the raw power of men in many domains.

A huge component of gender conflicts comes from our specific needs:

Men often give respect to women who don’t want it, and women often give affection to men who don’t care for it. Each gender doesn’t naturally communicate in the other’s language and must learn it from them, which requires patience to teach.

The battle for women’s rights is to give them enough power that they feel equal. Since the genders are uniquely different, the only reconciliation that would satisfy many women in a free society is more power than men, which is legitimately unfair to men.

Like with anything else, differences can be strengths or weaknesses, all based on perspective and use. In many ways, the contrast between males and females serve huge advantages for society when people can employ the correct time and place for a woman’s or man’s approach.

Application

The genders work fantastically well with one another, assuming basic human love. Otherwise, it’s all a power game that men can ultimately win by a show of force, which is the stereotype of an authoritarian male.

Men are stronger than women, and women are weaker than men, and this power battle can never be resolved without both sides learning to love each other.

The conventional roles of “men work and women stay home” can be different than a power game, and can easily serve a mutual benefit. Historically, housewives would often clean and cook out of gratitude for their husband’s provision.

If men gave women affection and women gave men respect, most inter-gender conflicts would disappear. But, that requires more love than most people are willing to give.

The Left pushes to magnify gender differences, then tries to equalize women to fully play out men’s roles. But, everyone is uniquely different, with unique needs and desires. Females want affection and adoration, while males want respect.

The most significant two developments that have equalized women the most are women’s voting rights and birth control technology, both developed by men. At this point, the only way to equalize it any further is to give women steroids or castrate men.

We must date carefully to avoid devoting our lives to someone who will never value who we really are. No person can truly satisfy us the way we expect them to at the onset of a relationship.

Marriage is not rational, but is necessary to find meaning because it forces people to work out conflicts with each other.

Men pick younger women and tend to not live as long as women, which means that women are forced into a statistical likelihood of being alone when they’re old, either by widowing or becoming a spinster (i.e., never marry).

If men and women can figure out how to manage their differences, they can have very meaningful relationships together. Women must simply learn to respect men, and men must simply learn to cherish women.